“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
― Woody Allen
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West
“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa
“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous
“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
― Jane Austen
“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well".
From: "More Maxims of Mark”
― Mark Twain
“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
― Steve Martin
“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein
“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
― Paul Terry
Source: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/humor
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